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Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. ~ Isaiah 7:14
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If you or your loved ones have a great sense of humor, these funny Christmas quotes are just for you.

Quote Author
There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard. Dan
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. Andy
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. Victor
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. Dave
Nothing is as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. Kin
What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present. Don
Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name. Erma
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. Garrison
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange. Henry
Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up. Wendy
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. Shirley
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. Jerry
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. Johnny
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. Bob
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. Bernard
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. Maya
Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp. Melanie
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa? Matt
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. Johnny
Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help. Andy
Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. Gary
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales. Milton
Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family. Charles
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange. Henny
You can’t fool me—there ain’t no Sanity Clause! Chico
Thank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang over a roaring fireplace. Jimmy
It’s that special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones. Jimmy
You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger. Robert
Of course Santa is dead. You force a guy to eat a billion cookies in one night, what do you think is going to happen? Jimmy
It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list. Unknown
Once you stop believing in Santa, you get underwear for Christmas. Unknown
Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends. Larry
Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call. Richard
I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” Winston

A blessed and wonderful Christmas to all of you.

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